DrillsAndSkills.com

[sunshineacro]

Hi. I would be appreciative of some guidance if at all possible. My co-coach and I are 20 and 22 respectively. We are new to coaching this particular discipline and are having some difficulty with , in particular one group in the class (15,15 & 9 years old). They refuse to do the necessary training for a certain level in competition. After discussing it with the previous coaches, we approached the girls with the decision that they either commit to the necessary training or drop back a level, they chose to drop the level. But now they are very bitter about it. They have resorted to spreading nasty little rumours about us and doing NOTHING in classes but sit and talk no matter what we try. They mutter under their breaths at everything we say and we can’t get them to co-operate barely at all. For example, their training sessions last for 3 hours. The last one we had, they were so uncooperative that we let them leave after 1 ½ hours.

They work as a trio. We have in previous classes had just one of the older girls and the 9 year old. They are good kids and work really well. They also appeared to really enjoy themselves! It seems that it is the other older girl who is the bad influence on them. The problem is that with all of the gossip, some of the parents of the girls are getting into it too – just as bad as the girls!

We have spoken to the previous coaches numerous times about it. They are advising us to consider kicking out the “ring leader”. This particular girl’s mother holds a fairly high standing in the community and has a business that associates her with many children in the town. They are also the “type” that are spiteful. Kicking out this girl could result in us losing many of the other kids in the team as most associate with this other business, and this family as a whole seems capable to influence many people.

On top of this, it feels like there is limited support within the club management. It is like you cannot trust anyone! What can we do???

My only thoughts were to have a meeting with the kids – but we have spoken to them separately and together a couple of times over the last 3-4 weeks and it doesn’t seem to work. We also thought to have a meeting with the parents – but their attitude stinks aswell! We do not see it as unlikely that the parents will turn everything we say around and make it gossip – or try to use it to get us into trouble with the club. Should we try to get someone from the club to attend the meeting with us? And again… we are stuck for who to get to come with us…. :\

Please help!!! How do we approach this without causing too much more disruption or negativity or being “frowned on”??

[Franc]

Seems like you are in deep trouble.But you can be sure you are not alone.
Sometimes there is no one sure answer and this is probably one of those occassions.
I guess you just have to think thoroughly about the cause n effect of any particular options n once you have decided , just go ahead n stick with it.It may or may not turn out well.Whatever the outcome so be it.

[Coach Blair]

Split'em up. Keep them apart. One of our coaches upon getting here really disliked how some of the girls were in their own little groups almost cliches. She always splits them up, randomizes them. It's not so really a bad thing most of the time but in your scenario it seems so.
Gotta have a sit down with the parents. One of our coaches personally only invites kids to team if they can stand dealing with the student's parents. Makes sense if you're gonna spend that much time together and dealing with them.
Be careful about the ringleader's parent. More than likely your gym is run as a business and not some city program or something. And definitely gotta watch the whole word of mouth thing.
Then again you could just kick the ringleader out as an example and deal with the results. Rebuild the team with gymnasts and parents who want to be there and not just EXPECT to be there. That will seperate those who want to be there and those who don't.
I wouldn't let them leave...I'd send them home as in kicking them out. Continue it again...kick them out again for a week, etc.
I'm a lot nicer than I sometimes sound, a lot more benevolent to pain in the rear students than I should but really...I'd be damned if I'd suffer lip from one of my students. That's a respect issue that will rear it's ugly head soon enough in the other gymnasts and when coaching new skills or regimens.

[TipGuy]

If they are clearly exhibiting that they don't want to be there, then fine, send them home. Like Blair said, don't "let them leave" but "send them home". Make sure they are aware why they are being sent home. Focus on the behavior. There is absolutely no reason in a team program that anyone is not following the program. If they don't want to be there, fine, they don't have to be there, but having them there and not doing what they should be doing is not fair to the other team members. It sets a bad precedence and will have a negative impact on the team as a whole. Catch these things early. Competing in gymnastics is a priviledge. Overall it's an extreeme priviledge to have access to a good facility with good coaching. No one has a right to this without the right attitude.
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TipGuy
Webmaster DrillsAndSkills.com

[sunshineacro]

Thank you to everybody for your advice. Greatly appreciated!

The problem "solved itself" so to speak. The ring leader decided, after weeks of discussion to "take a break".....

I will write more about this as soon as I get a chance, because it's a rather long story!