DrillsAndSkills.com

[tankhorse]

We have a girl at our gym that has begun to develop a bad attitude. She broke her wrist a year agou and she's not quite the same...she is also twelve. I was wondering if there is anything I can do. Her mom is really supportive and says she acts like this at home as well, she used to care and work hard...now she doesn't even care what the better gymnasts have to say to help her get better. She's begun cheating while working out too. Her mom asked me if there is anything that I could do and I don't know what to do...HELP..PLEASE

[AussieGirl]

This is a very very common problem in 12 year old girls. It is part of their development, they are getting all sorts of new hormones and reacting to their now way of thinking. Not all 12 year olds will go through a difficult stage but many, many do. Many quit gym at this age, have a look around your gym, how many young kids are there? and how many teens? I am willing to bet a lot less teens.

Time will improve her attitude but the difficult bit will be keeping her in the gym long enough for it to happen. A lot of praise and encouragement is very important. Girls at this age may act confident but frequently question their abilities, if they can feel like they are doing well, they will succeed more. They are also more inclined to work harder if they know it will be recognised and appreciated.

Be strict about cheating in conditioning. The consequence should be a lot more annoying than doing the exersizes right in the first place. If the consequence is enough it simply wont be worth it to cheat.

Now that she is 12 she will need to be more involved in her own desicions at training. She will no longer be satisfied for a coach to just tell her what she needs to do. It is now time to start goal setting and sitting down a dnworking out what she wants from the sport and how she can achieve it. Set small easily attainable goals as well as larger ones so she doesn;t feel overwhelmed.

[trampoline-doc]

i have to agree with aussiegirl on all but the part about time will improve her attitude... i totally disagree... give a kid with a bad attitude some time to mature and they just learned that they can get away with what they have been doing and soon they will just get more and more bold....with the attitude getting worse. i deal with kids like this everyday... snotty attitudes, cheatting, talking back, ect. strict punishments and sometimes if it comes down to it...time off from the gym. really nothing will work if everyone isnt on the same page i.e. her coaches, her parents , and herself. we have meetings with the child and the parent usually when we have problems and the problems can go away rather fast if the parents and coaches agree to a plan and stick to it.

yes this problem is very common with girls that age... but it doesnt need to be expected or put up with. ever wonder why all the kids in the gym cant be like that one girl that always does as shes told, never cheats, even comes in early? PARENTS!!! you have to be in constaint contact with your kids parents. its much easier to stop a problem a couple weeks in verses a few months into it all. when it all comes down to it if the parents are not willing to help in just about anyway possible then it will be very hard. so it really does suck when you get a family in your gym with those parents that just seem so bothered by anything they have to do for the kid....like they thought parenting was gonna be like one long vacation lolx2.

ever heard the old saying "boys will be boys"? if not it basically means boys will be crazy and dirty and wild cause they are boys. well i have too and i HATE the saying. boys and girls will be wild and out of control if you allow it. ive heard my parents say many times how i wasnt your "typical little boy" meaning to them i listened, i had good maners, and i did as i was told... bottom line. i always look at it with a new saying of my own... "kids will be snots... if you let them"

[dizzy di]

Lol, i totally agree, i have or did have the most lovely talented little girl . Brave well behaved and was polite, In fact you couldnt fault her.

But she is hitting on 11 years this year, ummm, and suddenly has started to comment on things i say, be rude to her peers and disrespectful to the coaches.

However from our old coach her mum was the same, i have made it quite clear i wont put up with it, and she will be told to be on her way. the problem is the others watch her and think oh ill have a go at that.

Discipline is so important in our Sport for safety as well.

Lay the ground rules out, and yes you need parents who are supportive of you and not!, trying to keep their daugther/son comfortable.

We always say get past 12 and they will stay in gym its that year, I agree they need more encouragement and praise, so give it alot even if its hard.

good luck.


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Dizzy Di

[trampoline-doc]

here is a really good article on self-esteem. i just brought in this article to my gym just the other day so all of our coaches could read it if they hadnt already. yes i know its in Oprahs magazine but its still very good. please read it! i thought it went very well with this topic.


http://www.oprah.com/spiritself/webmd/200710/spirit_esteem_b1.jhtml

[trampoline-doc]

if you can find the january issue of the magazine it goes much deeper into the subject.

[tankhorse]

UNFORTUNATELY the girl has chosen to leave our gym...she and her mother feel that they will have greater success elsewhere.

[kati_b_2002]

wow. that's tough.
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"Those who are afraid to fall never learn to fly."

[trampoline-doc]

it usually is the best for everyone in the long run